Happy whatever day you're reading this, Reader,

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I'm popping into your inbox today with some practical tips and realities for changing your relationship with the law.

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Let's get started with a few truths:

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We are in a nonconsensual relationship with the law. We don't actually discuss and decide on the laws. Nor do we get to choose whether or not they apply to us. The law is enforced upon us. That makes for an imbalanced power dynamic between those who have the power to enforce the law and those on the receiving end of that enforcement. Because of that, it's natural to feel on "edge" whenever anything legal comes up because for as long as you've been alive and even longer, the law has been a thing you've had no choice but to follow.

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When you're on "edge" or triggered, your nervous system shifts into survival mode. When you're in that state, your executive functioning capacity is decreased. That makes it harder to decipher things like legalese.

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Lots of law stuff is written in legalese. To me, legalese is like a foreign language. The words themselves are in English, but the sentence construction, excessive adverbs and adjectives, and weird grammar choices make the content of legal documents difficult to follow and to deduce logical conclusions from. This not only makes you feel stupid/inadequate, but it can also add to that nervousness and fear that arises anytime something legal comes up.

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And maybe you know all this stuff already, Reader. If you do, that's totally awesome. But I like to remind you of these truths from time to time anyway because they help us to remember that we're not crazy; the law is.

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But regardless of whether these are new concepts to you or things you've been aware of for a while now, I want to talk about how you can use this information to build a better acquaintance with the law over time.

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First, pay attention to your capacity to comprehend the law. When something legal pops up, notice what's happening with you.

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Is your body tensing up? Are you clenching your jaw? Are your shoulders up by your ears?

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Is your breathing shallow?

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Are you low-key shouting "f*ck I hate this sh*t" in your head while you're trying to read that legal document or understand this email from your lawyer?

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These are all signs that your nervous system is in a stress response, which isn't necessarily a problem.

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But if the words you're trying to read look like gibberish or don't make sense while this is all happening, may I offer that it may not be because you're not a lawyer and therefore not trained to understand them, but rather that you simply don't have the nervous system capacity to understand them at this moment?

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And if it's just an issue of your nervous system inhibiting your comprehension rather than enhancing it, then maybe you can step away for a minute. Because after all, nothing about the law in our everyday lives is particularly urgent.

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Court dates in active lawsuits can be urgent. But that regular-degular, everyday business law? Not so urgent. You can take your time with it even when someone says they need a response in 24 hours. They're lying. They don't need anything. And there's a high chance that their sense of urgency is manufactured by capitalism.

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So don't fall for it and remember that you're allowed to take your time with the law so take it. Take a step back and tend to your nervous system. Maybe go for a walk. Maybe meditate. Maybe do some tapping/EFT. Or journal about what's coming up for you.

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Then try again. And set a small goal. Read one paragraph. In an hour, read another. And when you feel your system reach comprehension capacity, stop. Take a break and return when you're ready.

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Second, if the legal thing coming up is related to a business deal with another person, ask to have a conversation about the deal terms also known as the contract.

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Because you're allowed to talk things through. You're allowed to ask questions like "What's the purpose of this term in the contract?" You know the one I'm talking about. It's the one that's setting off your spidey senses because there's something not quite right about it. If you can't figure out what it is, then ask the other person to explain what they mean so you can.

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You're allowed to ask questions and keep asking questions until you get a satisfying answer.

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And when that person gives you a plain language explanation of what they want that contract term to do, you're allowed to ask to replace the legalese in the contract with the plain language they used to answer you.

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Because things don't have to be written in legalese to be legally effective. That's just something that the people with the power to enforce the law want you to think.

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You can talk through a business deal and write contract terms in plain language that everybody understands.

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Because after all, the legalese isn't what makes a contract effective, the fact that the contract exists does.

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Third, ask your community and support system for help. There are quite a few online communities for different types of business owners and there are plenty of people ready and willing to help you out if they know something about your situation.

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Join those communities. Or ask friends, family, or other entrepreneurs you know if they've dealt with a similar legal issue.

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I lurk in a bunch of online entrepreneur communities for this reason. I pick up on different ways that people are dealing with common legal issues and pass the tips that make the most sense to me on to my friends and community.

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Because sometimes what you really need is a gut check. You have a sense that you know how to handle the issue, but either because you've never come across it before or because the law has you on edge (or both), you don't quite trust your instincts. Talking it through with someone can help you validate your instincts and give you the confidence you need to move forward.

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So to recap, 3 things you can do to understand the law better are:

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1. Honor your comprehension capacity. Touch the law in small doses and when you get signals from your body that you've maxed out, stop and take a break. Your capacity to engage with the law will increase over time.
2. Talk through it with somebody. If it's a business deal, talk through it with your potential collaborator, and don't be afraid to change that legalese to legally effective plain language.
3. Ask friends, family, community, and/or other entrepreneurs for help. Understanding what others would do in the situation helps you think about and understand what the best decision is for you.

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Lastly, remember that the law isn't something to be rushed past or skipped over. Just because we didn't choose it for ourselves doesn't mean we can't cultivate a relationship with it that works for us.

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If you need support with that, feel free to book a Legal Strategy Session with me. We'll take a holistic look at the state of the law-related things in your business world and create a strategy to help you manage them in the short and long term. One that takes your capacity, pacing, and finances, among other things, into account.

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Other Announcements

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I've spent the past few months thinking through what it will take to make The Everyday Lawyer a true resource for the people. My goal is to create as many high-quality free and low-cost legal resources for people who work as possible. I also want to have space to contribute to the local entrepreneurship ecosystems in Baltimore by providing free and/or low cost legal expertise to the various communities and small business incubators in town.

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To do that, I'm realizing I need some financial support in the form of mutual aid. I already have a great team of people supporting me (a virtual assistant, a project manager, and a designer), but I also need some financial stability for a few months to give me focused time to build the resources I want to create without also having to worry about making sales to pay bills. If you're interested in supporting my Solidarity Fund, I encourage you to read more about it and share it with folks who you think would support the cause. My goal is to be fully funded by the end of the month (we're almost halfway there!).

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Okay, that's all from me.

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Wishing you good health and prosperity,

Brionna

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Offers from Friends

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​Full Circle Ideas: My friends Dana and Cindy Lee launched a gentle accountability and co-working community for intuitive entrepreneurs. This space is great for entrepreneurs who would like to work towards goals in community with weekly intention setting, co-working sessions, monthly creativity sessions, and learning labs among other things. The price is $40/month.